The Key to Deepening Your Relationship

One of the greatest difficulties we face in our relationships is that of being vulnerable.


Depressed woman contemplates failed relationship




Exposing the soft underbelly of our being is to open ourselves to the possibility of being misunderstood, judged or even rejected. Conversely, vulnerability is our greatest ally in being understood, admired and deeply loved. The following passage, “If only”, outlines the thought processes we often cling to in our misunderstood attempt to protect ourselves from truly opening up to the possibility of being completely loved for who we are…


If Only I…

If only I could tell you what is going on inside of me.
I’m afraid you wouldn’t like the real me…

If only I could tell you how I feel sometimes…how I feel ALL the time.
I’m afraid to let you know I don’t have it all together…

If only I could tell you how much I need you, need your love, need your help.
I’m afraid you’ll think I’m weak…

If only I could stop pretending everything is OK.
I’m afraid to show you I'm not perfect…

If only I could come out from behind this veil of half-truths and outright lies.
I’m afraid you wouldn’t accept or love the real me.

If only I could be real, vulnerable, open.
I’m afraid you’d think I'm not worthy of you…

If only I could tell you where it hurts.
I’m afraid you would abandon me…

If only I could tell you everything, tell you the truth;
The truth would set me free…

If only I could…


If Only You…

If only you would let me in on what is going on inside of you.
I could too. And I would hold you and tell you I love you…

If only you would tell me how you feel.
I could too. And I would tell you it’s OK, I don’t have it all together either…

If only you would tell me how much you need me, need my love, need my help.
I could too. And I would be there for you, love you and support you…

If only you would stop pretending everything is OK.
I could too. And I would embrace your imperfections and share mine with you…

If only you would come out from behind your veil of half-truths and outright lies.
I could too. And I would be able to see, accept and love the real you.

If only you would be real, vulnerable, open.
I could too. And I would love the person you really are…

If only you would tell me where it hurts.
I could too. And I could kiss it and make it better…

If only you would tell me everything, tell me the truth;
I could too. And the truth would set us free…

If only you would, then I could too…
If only I could, then maybe you would…






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Larry G. Pardy CD RSW BSc. HBSW MDiv.
Copyright © L3C 2016






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